The Diwali card party, when you don't know how to play

The invitation says Diwali card party, seven o'clock, at your friend's house. You have never played teen patti or rummy, and you already know the table will be loud and quick. You do not have to know the game to walk in well.

The look

Pick something you can sit on the floor in without thinking about it.

• Modest: a festive kurta set in a bright colour, mustard, rani pink or green, with a dupatta in a second bright shade that you can pin or tuck so it stays out of the cards.
• Modern: a sharara or wide palazzo with a short kurta, in one strong colour, so crossing your legs is easy.
• One small detail: a pair of jhumkas, or one bangle you like. Not five things, one.

For hair, wear it open if that is how you feel like yourself, or tie a low ponytail so it does not fall over your face when you lean in to look at the cards. Borrow the dupatta from a sister or a friend if yours is not festive enough.

The one confidence move

Sit beside the players, not behind the sofa. Take a cushion, settle on the floor or the edge of the sofa within arm's reach of the table, and watch one full round without your phone in your hand. Watching a whole round is your homework, and it keeps you in the game while you learn it.

What to say first

When there is a pause between rounds, say this, plainly and with a smile:

Teach me one round, I'm new to this.

If it goes sideways

Someone may tease you about not knowing the game. Laugh with them and say, "I'm a beginner, be kind." Then ask your next question about the game and keep your voice light.

One thing to try today

Message the host this afternoon and ask who else is coming. Pick one name from the list and think of one thing to ask that person. Then you walk in already knowing one name.

Each Sunday: one moment coming up this week, the look for it and the one line to say first. Find it at /moments.