At the mehendi, both hands wet and your phone out of reach

Your hands are stuck for an hour. Sit beside someone you don't know.

It is an afternoon mehendi at a cousin's house in Jaipur. Marigold strings hang over the doorway, there are cushions on the floor and a plate of mithai is going round. In a minute the cone touches your palm. After that both hands are wet with henna, and your phone lies face up somewhere you cannot reach. For one hour you can't scroll, can't push your hair back and can't pick up a glass by yourself. So everything you need is done before you sit, and the hour itself is for talking.

The look

Pick something you can sit cross-legged in on a floor cushion, with sleeves that stay out of the way.

• The modest option: a cotton or georgette kurta in green or yellow, with sleeves that roll up to the elbow and stay there. Straight pants or a churidar under it, and a dupatta pinned at one shoulder so it does not slide into wet henna.
• The modern option: a flared skirt with a short top, in the same green or yellow. The skirt spreads around you when you sit, and a short top has no long sleeves to push back.

Both can come from your own cupboard or your sister's. An old kurta you have sat on the floor in before is right for this afternoon.

Hair: a loose side braid, with the front bits clipped back before the cone starts. Once your hands are wet you cannot tuck a strand behind your ear.

One detail: jhumkas. Your hands are busy with the design, so the earrings are the one detail.

The one confidence move

Before your hands go out, put the phone in your bag. Not on your lap, not beside your knee. In the bag, zipped. Then look at the cushions and pick the one beside someone you don't know. Do it on purpose. It is easy to slide in next to the cousin you always sit with; today you choose the other cushion. Sit down, settle your kurta or skirt around you, and turn your shoulders a little towards her.

What to say first

Wait until she looks up from her own hands, then ask:

Which side are you from, the bride's or the groom's?

It is an easy question at a wedding function. The answer is one word, and after it you can ask how she knows the family.

If it goes sideways

The talk may run out after two minutes, and you can't hide in your phone. If the talk runs out, look at her palm and ask about the design she chose: "Did you pick this one, or did the mehendi artist decide?" Let her tell you about it, then tell her about yours.

One thing to try today

Tonight, put on the kurta or the top you plan to wear. Clip your hair and roll your sleeves, then sit on the floor for five minutes with both hands resting open on your knees. Whatever slips, slides or falls into your face in those five minutes, fix it now, because your hands will be busy.

Each Sunday: one moment coming up this week, the look for it and the one line to say first. The moment cards are at /moments.